Posts Tagged ‘funny’

Matchingfreak Reaches 1000 Outfits

Monday, May 23rd, 2011

To commemorate the momentous occasion of reaching 1000 documented outfits on Matchingfreak, I decided to make a short “documentary,” if you will. It cracks me up.

I made it over the course of the week and used iMovie, which is pretty good for a free software. Making it was a lot of fun, and reminded me of the times when I pretended to make television shows as a child!

Silly Bird!

Monday, April 18th, 2011

I was driving home yesterday, when I decided to pull over into a park to make a phone call. That’s when I came face to face with this!

Saturday, April 2nd, 2005

I did something stupid in lab again…. After carefully taking the agarose gel out of the box without breaking it (which took a long time), I immediately dropped it on the floor and it split into several pieces. After the initial shock, we were able to pick it up off the floor and continue with our experiment (cutting out the bands that had our desired DNA on it). We had to be really careful, though, because the gel has a carcinogen in it that inserts itself into DNA. It didn’t help things that Shilpa stepped and slid on a piece!

ew, lab

Thursday, March 31st, 2005

Today was one of the worst lab days. First, I grabbed the bucket off a shelf to get some ice, and it happened to be filled with water (it’s supposed to be empty! it’s always been empty!!), so I ended up spilling it all over my lab partner’s notebook. It was soaked. Later on, I used way too much plasmid sample to make a dilution, so we had none left for our other experiment. We had to ask the TAs for it and wait around until they prepared it for us. I’m so clumsy and I don’t want to be. I’m just really stupid when it comes to lab. I always do something wrong! All the time!

gross!

Tuesday, January 4th, 2005

Today I was going to meet up with Soha for lunch on the promenade, when a homeless guy on the street said, “Miss, could you spare some change? Nobody’s been helping me out today!” I’d been meaning to give him some money anyway, so I gave him three dollars instead of the usual $1 I give. Oh man, the guy grabbed my hand and introduced himself to me. Then, he talked about how beautiful I was and asked me if I was married. I told him that I was only 19! so he asked me if I had a boyfriend. He was kind of disappointed when I answered that we’d been together for a year and 4 months. Then he asked me if I was planning on marrying him, because he surely would like to marry me. I would thank him and try to walk away, but he wouldn’t let go of my hand. He told me “I love you” numerous times! I think the most traumatizing part was when he checked me out and he said, “You have good hips for having children, too.” I was thoroughly freaked out. Good thing Soha was watching all this from across the street and decided to rescue me by calling my cell phone. As I was leaving, he said “I love you, please consider! I have a place over there *points in a direction*.” I guess he hadn’t gotten laid in a very long time. *shudder*

I’m very flattered, but ew.

prof. robison

Sunday, November 21st, 2004

Here’s an e-mail Prof. Robison sent us regarding our music assignments due on Tuesday. Have I mentioned that he’s one of my favorite professors? It’s between him and the math professor. They’re both so funny.

Here’s the e-mail:

Hi, everyone–

As promised/threatened, here’s a list of guidelines for the PERFORMING editions of your final projects.

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I. Thou shalt emulate the graphic appearance of the scores in thine anthology of variation sets. Thou shalt have no other model. If thou usest notation software, thou shalt not accept its craven default settings, but thou shalt tweak it as needed to make its output match the appearance of the scores in thine anthology. Thou shalt not attempt to excuse inferior layout by saying “but this is what the software does.”

II. Thou shalt leave an empty staff between staff systems, so that the phrasing slurs, pedal marks, low notes, etc. below one left-hand staff do not overlap the phrasing slurs, articulation marks, high notes, etc. above the right-hand staff below it. If thou usest notation software, thou shalt create extra space between staff systems (pursuant to commandment I).

III. Thou shalt write simultaneous notes in strict vertical alignment. That is, if two notes are to be played at the same time, thou shalt not write either to the right of the other, nor to the left of the other; nay, verily, but thou shalt write them one above the other, respecting the convention of the x-axis as a strict map of temporal succession, as has been handed down through the ages.

IV. Thou shalt NOT litter thy performing score with egghead analytical marks such as Roman numerals to indicate chords, bass figures to indicate inversions, or labels of non-chord tones, cadences, keys, etc. For the performer, these represent a distracting nuisance.

V. Thou shalt provide a tempo indication at the beginning of thy theme, and at the beginning of each variation. (If thou canst supply a specific metronome mark, so much the better.)

VI. Thou shalt provide phrasing slurs to clarify thy phrase structures. If thou writest Alberti accompaniment patterns, thou shalt use phrasing slurs to clarify changes of harmony (i.e., one slur per harmony, no more, no fewer).

VII. Thou shalt provide dynamic markings as appropriate. I encourage thee to provide at least one indication of volume level, at the start of the movement, and indicate any changes (cresc., dim.) as desired.

VIII. Thou shalt provide articulation markings as appropriate: staccato dots or strokes, tenuto lines, accents, markings of “fp” or “sfz”. The more expressive indications that thou providest, the more expressive a performance thy composition shall receive.

IX. Thou shalt write beams that are significantly thicker than the lines of thy barlines, and of thy note stems; yea, verily, and thicker too than even the thickest portions of thy phrasing slurs.

X. Thou shalt write strictly vertical barlines. If thou usest a ruler for no other marks on the page, yet the appearance of thy score shall benefit mightily from barlines drawn with a straight edge, perpendicular to the lines of the staff.

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If thou hast other… sorry, I mean, If you have other questions about notation, please feel free to e-mail them to me, and I’ll be happy to answer.

All best,

Prof. Robison

Monday, October 25th, 2004

Today in organic chemistry, our professor was lecturing, “So let’s look at the mechanism of this reaction. Oh, by the way, I’m going to a Metallica concert tonight,” then immediately continued lecturing. The 100+ room full of students all laughed out loud in surprise.

bananas

Saturday, September 18th, 2004

Today, we learned that cyclopropane, since it is in the shape of a triangle, has 60 degree angles, which is unfavorable since the desired angle is 109.5 degrees. Therefore, its bonds are a little bent. These “bent bonds” are also called “banana bonds.” At this point, the professor took out three bananas and demonstrated what the bonds looked like. Of course, peoplel started giggling. Then, she said, “Anybody want a banana?” and threw the bananas across the lecture hall at people who wanted them. Ah, organic chemistry.

Wednesday, June 30th, 2004

Yesterday, I was riding my bike to school on the sidewalk, and suddenly noticed that I was about to run straight into a spider that was dangling from a tree/bush. Before I knew it, I had thrown myself off to the side, onto the sidewalk. I got up quickly and was thankful that nobody saw!

INK!!

Friday, June 18th, 2004

Today I biked to Reed’s house, which was about 30 blocks away from mine. From there we took the bus to the promenade, and some crazy guy who was grunting and talking to himself got in and sat straight across from us. He was holding his bus card and seemed quite angry with it. Reed and I were trying to look like we were talking each other and acting normally, to drown out the awkwardness of the man’s talking to himself. At some point, he held his bus card up and yelled with a raspy, grunt-like voice, “What is this?… Ink!” He seemed rather disgusted with this discovery. He continued to rant about it to himself. When we got off the bus, Reed immediately did a very accurate impersonation of it and my sudden laughter caused a very violent pang in my sides and I had to crouch down in the middle of the sidewalk to laugh because it hurt too much. Tears of joy were aplenty. He sounded, as Reed had said, as if “ink is the bane of his existence.” Throughout the day, we had occasional outbursts of yelling, “INK!” and I laughed every time.

Also, there was this homeless lady at McDonald’s who walked around and talked to herself with a creepy voice. It was really low and.. weird. Reed was like, “Whoa, did you hear those overtones? She’s like a Tuvan throat singer! They should put her on stage.” Again, I laughed and cried. I was anticipating that Reed would make me laugh this hard, so I hadn’t neglected to put a pack of tissues in my purse before I left the house. The only other person who comes close to making me laugh this hard is Steven.