Posts Tagged ‘childhood’

I used to draw

Sunday, October 17th, 2010

I was seven years old when we moved from Turkey to the United States. I have only had a few opportunities a year to see our relatives since then. Naturally, they remember the Melike from 18 years ago vividly, and piece their picture of me together with what they’ve observed from our brief encounters since.
One question I get a lot is, “Do you still draw a lot?” It sounds so strange to me now, that I used to draw every day of my life since before I could remember up until the ages of 16-17. The inspiration and number of drawings sharply declined since then, up to the point where I forgot that there was a time when I couldn’t imagine myself not drawing regularly.
I crave playing with shapes and colors from time to time. In the Melike of Now, the thirst for play with colors and forms is mostly quenched by coordinating different outfits every morning. In accordance with the Matchingfreak philosophy, no outfit combination is to be repeated, which raises the bar for coming up with creative color, material, and accessory groupings.
Besides clothing, the only other media where I manipulate colors are the Excel spreadsheets, Powerpoint presentations, and monthly process engineering reports I create at work. Making sure not to waste too much time, I enjoy making the spreadsheets and plots readable and pleasant to the eye…

Friday, February 21st, 2003

Oh, and I went to the supermarket and got Nesquik today! Yesterday, Charles had bought a bottle of strawberry flavored Nesquik, and let me drink some of it. It took me back to my middle school years. I used to love that stuff! So yes! Now that Mr. Rhodes has negated what Emil told me last year, that milk builds up phlegm in my throat, I can drink more milk.

Tuesday, July 23rd, 2002

Ahaha! I just looked at a notebook of sketches and stuff I used to keep back in ’93 and ’94. There is some pretty hilarious stuff there. In fact, I used to be so funny, and I kept making up all these inventions, like a bird car that’s shaped like a bird, and your lil pet birds can sit on the back and peck at the commands and make it go around and stuff. There are lots of other inventions too. I also wrote a lot of funny stuff that my birds did. They were hilarious. A lot of miscellaneous drawings, but my favorite part was the Küçük Insanlar comics. They were these tribal stick figures, and their sole life purpose was to travel around and just have fun. They’re so great. There was this epic comic that I did, and I worked on it for a couple of months, it was great. It’s actually very nice to follow along with, and extra humorous. I used to be a great artist. My drawings weren’t excellent, but some techniques I used to relate emotions, situations, etc. were ingenious. There are some things in there that, in this age, I find very adult-like when it comes to humor (and ew, not like that. it’s just that it’s way developed for an 8-year-old). Maybe I’m just being too nice to myself. Anyway, one of the funniest parts was when they meet a little girl, and she asks them what they are, and they bust into this theme song thingy, that was hilarious. (Well, it wasn’t really a song, it was like a rap. I just wrote a short two-stanza poem. It was hilarious.) Hee hee!!! *gets happy* Man!! Oh yeah, and they did have a theme song, but the only lyrics were “Küçük Insanlar” (pronounced kü- chük in-sun-lar, meaning ‘little people’). *sings it for you*

I also made theme songs for my birds, too. Haha, it is so sad, my two birds didn’t get along too well. I think there was something wrong with the yellow one who died (“Ali”). At least, we think it was a guy. It was weird because he and Inci never did get along, and after he died, we got another one, and they made a really cute couple. I’m thinking maybe Ali was.. hm.. gay. Either that, or a girl. Well, he also had mental problems. Inci didn’t like him much anyway, haha!! Anyway, enough of this.

I think I used too much of my artistic powers when I was a kid. This is why I suck now.

Monday, July 22nd, 2002

Right now I’m studying for my physics test. Actually, it’s going to be quite a breeze, because he made it an open note test (since the class average was so low last time). But I’m going to be macho and not bring any notes, and get the actual grade that I deserve. I think I’ve gotten all the concepts down, and there are just a few formulas that are easy to memorize. The good thing about formulas is that once you know it and you know what each unit of the variables are, you just plug stuff in mindlessly and find the answer! Haa.

I really have an urge to make a webcomic, but I know that’s too much work and effort for me. Besides, if I do decide to do such a thing, I’ll probably start it in September or October anyway, since I’m gone all of August. I’ve been wanting to make one for a long time, but I can’t find any plot material, except for the random scenarios that float around in my head, but they don’t really lead to anything. Hehe. When I was a little kid I used to start all these comics and draw furiously for a few days/weeks, but suddenly it’d come to a complete stop and I’d be completely blocked, and that would end that. They were actually pretty good, too bad they just ended randomly. So if I had a webcomic I’d be scared of that happening. And also, I probably wouldn’t have the drive to draw consistently every other day. Those things take a lot of effort to organize and color and draw and stuff.

I’m listening to the Powerpuff Girls CD that Aimee gave me, I love it! Yay!

Monday, April 8th, 2002

I am so hilarious… or rather, I was. I was cleaning my room, and I found this notebook I’d been drawing/writing in. It turns out to be a newspaper called “Çizgi” which chronicled the events that went on in Cartoonia (at that time, Cartoonia, the country of which I am a dictator, was in Turkish). It is SO funny! They even have a different calendar. There are 10 days in a year, five months a day. The two months are Kalem (pencil) and Silgi (eraser). Silgi is the unlucky month of the year, and everybody usually gets devastated during that time. I’d done more issues of the paper than I thought – six! Well, five and a half, because I didn’t finish the last issue. Man it was so cool though! Each paper was three pages long, and full of hilarity. It’s so sad, it was such a dictatorship. I’m the queen of the country and the editor of the only newspaper. I force rules on people that nobody likes, and I also support Bianca, the source of all evil on Cartoonia. So haha yeah. There are also columnists, hilarious interviews, random things, and it’s so cool! My favorite article was the one where Bianca’s family left Cartoonia, finally, and in the previous days they’d kidnapped both of one of my characters’ children. So it’s saying how one of them left at 11:59:59 pm and the other left at 11:59:59:99 pm. And it’s talking about all that, and the last sentence is, “Oh yeah, and they took the kids away too, so we’re never going to see them again.”

And everybody was fighting to be a columnist, and the columnists wrote derogatory things in their articles about their hated siblings to embarrass them. It’s all very good.

Sunday, March 31st, 2002

Hahaha!! I was reading one of my old notebooks and I started laughing at the stuff I wrote.. like this:

“Max has a great personality. Probably one of my best characters. But this thing about his… attitude.. But that’s what builds his personality and it’d be wrong to make him stop swearing and drinking and stuff like that. I’d tell you about his past, but that’s for Double M, sorry. Actually, I feel sorry for him. It’s true that he’s a cold-hearted maniac with a large ego but on the inside he’s an innocent insecure little child.. OKAY NOW I’VE DONE IT!! I’m never going to show this notebook to anyone – ever! ARGH! I don’t know why I write these things down! NOOOO! The world has come to an end!”

*snickers* I love myself and my weird paranoia that people are gonna laugh at my world inside my head. By the way, Double M never was completed and I didn’t even get to the part where I explained his childhood.. Oh well, I guess you shall never find out!

Friday, March 8th, 2002

So like, I’d said that I hated kids, but I might waver on that thought after tonight’s one-hour-long community service (even though it was a bit too long). But bear with me as I tell the story. The ending’s really cute!

So I got there, and I didn’t know where to go, and they sent me to this room full of little kids and made them sit around a table. They said that there were limited computers and video games in the other room, so those who cooperated during this little exercise would get to use the computers. The guy in charge, Jerry (I’d gone to Red Cross a few times in 8th grade and I know him from there.. but good thing he didn’t recognize me), asked them what they’d done in the past five weeks, and they all went down the line and said humorous responses, like, “I went to school,” and “I watched TV.” Then they laughed wildly. But then, the people in charge (I think the lady’s name was Christine) condemned the three girls to stay behind while everyone else played in the other room, because they weren’t respecting the others while they were talking. And there was this tall and skinny, red-haired college guy named Elijah (who reminds me of Aimee’s alligator named Jeremiah.. and also of the song and Mr. Rhodes’s Elijah quote) came in once in a while and told people to clean up the mess they were making. So anyway, I was left with two other adults who sat there and talked amongst themselves and played with legos at one point, and three little girls. One of them was a spitting image of Erin Tait. She grabbed my hands to play slide, but then she noticed the huge green amber ring on my finger, and she wore it for a while and showed her friends. Hehe. I remember I used to love big clunky jewelry, too, and it’s cool that now I have possession of lots now that I’m older. *big grin* Anyway, people grabbed my hand and dragged me around to sit with them or play bubbles and stuff. At one point they tackled me to the ground and everything was out of control, but then the Erin girl (okay fine, I think her name was Arielle) told the other bitchy girl to get off so I could sit in a chair. Then they fought over who got to sit in my lap (painful – I will remember to tie my hair back next time). So, like, this other girl is really bitchy. What a spoiled brat! And guess what her name is!! *sighs* Ironically, the evil girl’s name is Bianca *imagines Jocelyn laughing her head off as she reads this*. Anyway, finally, when they all calmed down, Arielle told everyone else how great she thought I was and the others agreed (I don’t know why.. I didn’t do anything.. all I did was stand around, smile, and let myself be dragged around like a rag doll). Then they all thought I looked like that girl in Princess Diaries. *evil grins* You know what advantages that brought me?! My nickname was Princess from then on (although one of them called me Diary.. then switched to calling me Princess) and they wanted to treat me like a princess (i.e. do everything I tell them). So I made them pick up the chips from off the floor. *cackles* Man, those kids eat chips like machines… just stuff them into their mouths like they have a bottomless pit for a stomach. But anyway, then we played with bubbles and that was fun. So then, the little girl (she was SOOOO adorable, omg) hugged me and I let her sit in my lap, then that idiot Bianca came and tried to sit in my lap too and she hurt the other girl (she was five years old.. omg I just wanted to munch on her) and so the other girl (damn it I forgot her name! I’ll call her Alicia for now) started to cry so they took Bianca away into the other room (YES!!). So then, everything went smoothly after that.. Alicia sat in my lap and Arielle and I tried to do a Scooby Doo jigsaw puzzle but we counted the pieces and noticed some were missing, so yeah.. we stopped doing that. By then, my hour was up anyway and I had to go home.

Before leaving, this girl I hadn’t talked to gave me a drawing of.. ME! In a lil princess outfit! And it said to: Princess from: Tera. I was so happy! IT MADE MY DAY!! I thanked her and I was so giddy and she just walked away and I decided to surprise her next week by drawing her something too. Muwahaha. But then on my way home I noticed that I’M GOING TO BE IN ALL-STATE NEXT THURSDAY. I uttered the f-word to myself while I was walking home and now I’m crushed. Damn it, I’ll give it to Andrea to give to her or something.. I WANT TO SURPRISE HER! She is so artistic.. like she sat there and just drew, and it was really pretty, too. And she had a toy camera around her neck and took random pictures of people and things. She reminded me of.. well, me. And when Arielle (the Erin girl) was picking on Alicia and saying she was jealous because I wanted to do the jigsaw puzzle with her, Tera got mad at her and said that some things she said were hurtful to others. It was very inspiring and I just wanted to take her home with me and draw all day long. But then she’d think I was weird.

So yeah I was happy.

Man, kids are so great. They thought I was pretty, too! It’s so nice to be around people who don’t really judge you at all, and all you need to do to please them is just.. sit there, I guess. *shrugs* And I don’t think I’d be a good parent because I really can’t control kids. I mean, I usually do whatever they want me to do, but when it comes to things such as “Alright, now pick up that food before doing anything else” or something they usually don’t listen. Also, this girl stole Alicia’s chair and Alicia came up to me and held my arm and pouted and said, “She stole my chaiirr!” and I turned to look at the girl who did it and she glared back at me and Bianca was staring at me with a gaping mouth too, and all I could do was shrug. It was really pathetic. I need to work on that. Bah. But I think they liked me. *feels giddy*

Okay, so yeah that was a nice little change from monotony. Roar. Sometimes I feel like I’m just stuck here and I can’t meet any new people or have anything different in my life until I go to college. Cuz, like, geez, who is there to meet? People in school have their own friends already. I don’t even know if I want new friends. I just want something pleasantly different, and I don’t know what that is yet.

Phew, I rambled on too much and I haven’t started my All-State music, so… er.. maybe tonight I’ll start? Maybe. Haha. I think I’ll wait until the weekend, actually.

Sunday, February 24th, 2002

Emily’s right – I do write more now! I think part of the reason is that I’m using the fast pop-up BloggerPost thing where there’s nothing but a textbox to write my entry in, and the buttons for posting. So I don’t see my previous posts. Before, I used to come often to the editing site, but leave without posting because I’d be like “Well, I’ve already posted enough for today.” Ack. Well, hopefully people at least enjoy my ramblings. I’d rather have a charming guy in love with me always checking my site and poring over my intelligent postings, but I really can’t see that happening at this point in time.

The layout rocks, man! And hey, I noticed it matches the rugs in my bathroom! Yay green, yay olive green!

I love my new honeysuckle scented perfume. Honeysuckles have good connotations: when I was little, my grandpa and I used to take walks in the park, and while we were walking home there was a honeysuckle bush on one of the fences, and we used to pick honeysuckles for my grandma. *smiles* Aww, that’s so cute! They smell soo nice, too. I loved smelling them and I still do. I think they are my favorite flower.

Honeysuckle is called “hanımeli” in Turkish and it literally translates to “lady’s hand.” *grin* Cute.

Sunday, January 20th, 2002

*SOB* I just deleted anything that was left of my old home page I made when I was in middle school!!! *SOBS*

.. even though I downloaded them all on my hard drive… I don’t know. The directory just looks so sad.. and so empty.. *checks to see if the files are still there in her documents*

.. *sniff* Okay. They’re saved in my hard drive. You know what’s tragic? I saved 224 files, and it only cleared away 1.3MB of space. Yeah.. back in those days Geocities had a 2MB limit.. *grin* Gr. I need more web space though. And fast.

Yeah, I spent two hours doing this.. and the inspiration to compeuse flew away by doing it. I guess there’s nothing left to do but study.

Saturday, September 29th, 2001

*adding on to the previous post* Although, I remember in 6th and 7th grades I used to fall asleep watching TV every Friday at around 7:00 and sometimes even 6:30. It was cute, but I got mad at myself for ruining my reputation of going to bed late (not to mention missing TGIF). Hehe, those were the days. But then I stopped watching TGIF because chatting with friends on a Friday evening seemed more appealing.

Okay, I’m really shutting up now, I haven’t written this much in a while and I’m going to bed.