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jason:

Friend from 10th grade with a dark sense of humor.

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"Authoritarian chic. That's how I describe my fashion." - Jason

"We played Mortal Kombat. I won every time except once, when Jason won, and that was the last game we played to preserve his memory of victory." - Rotem

"Eh. You're happy. That's essentially annoying, because we hate happiness in others." - Jason

"I think, for the most part, I'm actually a happy person. I just get mad at myself for being happy." - Jason

"My mom makes me so sad. I want to hug her and give her a better life in the past." - Jason

"My dad suggested we take the 101 for a more scenic route, but really I'm all the scenery we need." - Jason

"She had a very modest bathing suit, which I was disappointed with." - Jason

"I don't think I can be funny immediately after a day of tutoring. I have to wait 10 to 12 hours, I think." - Jason

"He's the most mentally unstable out of the three of us. That's a terrifying thought." - Jason

"Sorry. I haven't been very attentive to what I've been doing." - Jason

"I was making fun of a loser persona! I wasn't expecting to actually become that loser!" - Jason

"I bought jeans yesterday from the Goodwill. I think they are women's jeans, but they still look good on me." - Jason

"I had an amazing moment this morning. I got a mug out of the cupboard for coffee. I filled it up and then, put it back in the cupboard. Then, I got distracted by something else. When I went to look for my coffee, I couldn't find it. I opened the cupboard and saw the mug I put the coffee in and then thought, 'Oh, I must've not poured my coffee yet.' I pulled it out of the cupboard, as if it were empty, and spilled coffee all over me. It's a pretty intricate story, but it's pretty much one of the worst lapses in short term memory I've had." - Jason

"She's 'curvy.' And I am pretty strict about the no fatties rule. There's a difference between being chubby. There are plenty of good looking girls with some meat on them, but there is a point where I find it unattractive. And you know what? I'm OK with admitting that." - Jason

"The difference between a BA in History and no BA at all is slight, at best." - Jason

"It's the least interesting way to write about crime. It's about how crime has been down in Santa Monica over the last year. Only 12 rapes! SOOO BORING." - Jason

"I once tied up a girl and asked her questions about art history and 'punished' her when she got answers wrong." - Jason

"How is Jason? He hasn't returned my calls... I called him once." - Reed

"He's probably going through a 'sane' phase." - Jason

"He's a weird volcano of libido." - Jason

"If I'm not careful, I'm going to get fat! And that is a fate worse than death." - Jason

"I think I salted the table more than I salted the potatoes." - Jason

"I can make anything look manly. You should see the thong I'm wearing." - Jason

"I think I wear my pants too tight. I don't like putting things in my pockets." - Jason

"I'm not trying to tight-rope walk my way through a minefield of subdued animosity and stubborn apathy/boredom like back in high school." - Jason

"Just the other day, I tried to explain to a twelve year old the concept of Humanism with a huge chunk of gauze in my mouth and throbbing pain in the side of my head." - Jason

"Every day I come back to my room and my bookshelves haven't fallen on my computer is a victory!" - Jason

"You know it. I'm sooooo sexy. ::kisses his flexed muscles::" - Jason

"Why does Jason get snow before me? This is racist." - Avi

"Last night, Jason called me to ask me how to clip a rabbit's nails." - Jocelyn

"I'm talking to Jason now. His stepdad fell asleep with 900 dollars in his hand and now it's missing. They're calling out a search party.." - Eva

"I accidentally got Jason's eye goo on my paper today.." - David

"Although another year older may mean another year closer to the hellish reigns of the senility and docility which crush us in their icy grips as we edge closer to the day on which our blood stops flowing and all that we were is gone from the mortal world for all eternity, it doesn't mean that you have to rub it in his face, David!" - Jason